How to Deal with an Overwhelming Thought?

Common question: I look around and see other people who seem so confident and content with who they are, and I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I feel that way? Even small mistakes make me spiral into self-criticism, and it’s exhausting. How do I stop this loop of never feeling good enough? How do I quiet that voice?

Believe it or not, you’re already ahead of the curve. You’re able to notice when you fall into this pattern, and you can see that it’s not working for you. That awareness alone is huge. 

What I think might be happening is that you’re getting lost in the “sauce.” A thought loop like “I’m not good enough” tends to feed itself, almost like a fire that needs wood to stay lit. 

With self-criticism, our mind often searches for evidence to confirm that story, even if it hurts us.

That makes me wonder a few things:

When you criticize yourself, what does that give you? Often, this behavior serves a purpose. Maybe it’s a way to stay accountable or to push yourself to achieve. Maybe, at some point, it even helped you. But now, you’re starting to see that it’s taking an emotional toll.

Next time you notice this thought loop,

I wonder if you can slow down almost like counting 1……….2… …………3,  and simply notice your……….. experience. Sometimes, just observing your …………… experience,

without adding more fuel to it,

can bring a surprising sense of freedom.