Are we Having Fun?

A few years ago, in grad school, a professor asked me a question that jolted me:

“Are we having fun?”

I wasn’t. I was buried under a mountain of paperwork, deadlines, and clinical hours.
But the way he asked it—compassionate, candid, curious—implied that we could be.
It threw me off.

My first reaction was: Wait… do I even have control over that?

His tone said, “Absolutely.”

That question kept echoing in my mind.

Months later, a friend invited me to one of his salsa dancing classes.

My immediate reaction?
Absolutely not.

Here’s what ran through my mind:

- I’m a terrible dancer.

- Why would anyone want to see me move?

- What if I ruin the vibe for everyone?

But there was a small part of me that wanted to try. Even just once.

So I went.

I was shaking through the whole class.
Anxious.
Convinced that the moment I stepped on the floor, the music would stop and the studio would go silent.

But nothing happened.
Marc Anthony’s “Tu amor me hace bien” played in the background.
And it kept playing.

After class, I asked myself: Did I have fun?

The honest answer?
Almost.

It was hard to enjoy the music or the movement because I was so busy judging myself.
I couldn’t hear the rhythm or feel the joy—because I was too caught in my head.

So I asked my friend—someone who loves to dance—how he does it.

He smiled and said,
“Just be in the moment.”

It sounded simple. But when your mind is wired for anxiety and self-monitoring, being in the moment is a skill.
It’s one I’ve been practicing ever since.

Here’s a skill on how to have fun—even on a really shitty day:

1. Pay attention to the here and now.
What do you see? Hear? Feel?
Bring your body into the moment before your mind takes over.

2. Notice the self-judgment loops.
“I’m terrible.”
“They’re all watching me.”
“This is embarrassing.”
Name them for what they are: stories. Narratives. Not reality.

3. Come back to what’s in front of you.
The music. The movement. The color of the lights.
The laughter in the room. The fingertips of your dance partner.

4. Savor the moment.
Ask: What do I like about this right now?
Maybe it’s the beat. Maybe it’s the fact that you showed up.
Maybe it’s just the feeling of doing something totally out of your comfort zone.

Fun doesn’t just happen.
It’s a skill.
A way of showing up, even when your mind says, “Absolutely not.”

What if you could dance anyway—
feel the beat,
move like no one’s watching,
and let your spirit free